A Mother's Practical & Life-changing Lessons on a Home in Which Children Are Being Raised

Dear Mother Friend,

A house where children are being raised does not always have everything in place.

Some parents are able to keep everything in order, but in most homes in which there are children, things will not always be in place.

There is a difference between a house that is not being cleaned and a house that has things out of place because of little ones exploring!

I know this because I have experience looking after my four children that the Lord has blessed me with.

When things in our houses are out of place, as mothers, it is our job to choose joy in our homes as we work in our first and most important ministry.

I know choosing joy is not always easy!

Mother Friend, constantly assess your home by the leading of the Holy Spirit and choose to do what is most important. Choose to do what will bring God glory in the moment. That might not look like starting the washing machine or preparing dinner but comforting a little soul that had a rough day at school.

There is always pressure from the outside world to have a house that is overly organized because we have learned that an organized house means we are in control.

I cannot agree though. An overly organized house when parenting means we are in control of the physical environment.

But our children and their emotional well-being, if you ask me, is a greater investment.

Can you imagine the burden and self-doubt carried by a mother who must:

Care for children who are special.
Care for a spouse or family member in need.
Care for multiple children at a time.
A mother in a season of dealing with health issues.
A mother who has no choice but to work outside the home.
A single mother
A mother who does not live where she has a strong community that she can call on.
A mother with a partner who has no choice but to work away from the home in order to provide for the family.
A mother of a teenager trying to figure out the world.
A mother whose family is experiencing loss.

I am sure there are many other unique living situations that could be added to this list because the cookie-cutter model of motherhood/family life that we see will never show an accurate picture of the reality in the lives of most ordinary people.

These are all real-life situations that are unfolding in homes around us daily.

I was one who wanted everything to be in its rightful place and struggled with things being out of place because I would feel so overwhelmed like I was not managing. At times, I would also feel guilty about not being a good enough mother because, in most movies or ads that bombard our minds, the house is always in order.

After having twins and facing death during and after having my youngest, an experience that I am still recovering from. I have learned to give myself and others much-needed grace.

I would get frustrated when I could not complete all the tasks in my home on any given day, and whatever I could do, I was not enjoying because of my unrealistic expectations. I was constantly being so hard on myself.
So now, as a mother with almost twenty years of experience, I can knowingly say how well-organized your house is does not determine if you are a good mother.

Having a well-organized house is a plus, but it does not make your house a home.

Managing our homes is a system that changes with each new addition to our families. If you found balance with one child or in a season of rest, you must learn how to balance your home again if your season changes, adding more to your plate.

There is more to making a house a home than being in control of the physical environment.
What sense does it make to have a well-organized house where there is no laughter, happiness, freedom and time to enjoy each other? Let us face it: It does not matter how many tasks we manage to cross off our list of things to do; there is always something else to do, and yes, some of the very same tasks you managed to complete today will be on your list tomorrow!

When you work at organizing one room and your young children work at building a fort in the next room or building a bed for the baby with all the pillows and sheets from a recently made bed padded with your freshly washed folded laundry, choose to be at peace.

Choose to gently guide them into learning to clean up after themselves as they grow. This requires a lot of patience.
Will what they do look like what you would do? Not at all, but these are opportunities that we must use to teach our little ones to be responsible and, most importantly, to teach them of God’s amazing grace for us.

Mother friend, like we are finding balance over time, they too will learn to master the skills we are teaching them.

Mother Friend, learn to pray in all things because when we walk through the valleys of life that test us, our Good Shepherd promises to be with us.

Pray over your home and the systems you have in place because whatever systems we put in place that lead to the functioning of our homes have implications in eternity. After all, we are dealing with souls!
The enemy also does not mind if we are overwhelmed and consumed by the growing mountain of tasks we have to do, never finding time to read our Bible, pray or teach our little ones directly or indirectly about God.

You remember, friend, that motherhood is an effective tool God uses to make us more like Christ.
Here is the link to an article you might like: Five Reasons Motherhood is A Fertile Soil For Spiritual Growth

Ask yourself daily, “How is God using my current home situation to make me more like Him?”

What area in my life is He using this season to develop the fruits of the Spirit in me?

Give yourself the grace you need; remember, your situation is unique. With time, it will all make sense.

As children of the Most High God, we are promised that “All things will work for our good.”
What our children need the most is a home that they see as a refuge from the harsh and cold world.
Our children need a home where they can feel their mother’s love. A home in which they are not only seeing their mom going and going, trying to get everything in place before the sun goes down but a mother who hugs and listens when they are in need.
A home in which parents are living in love, setting an example for them.

They do not need a home in which their movements are restricted or fear having an accident.
Let us strive to create memories that will last for our children throughout their lifetime because what they will remember is when they were hugged, times they were loved, when they were listened to and the freedom they had to be children.

I really doubt they will remember how well books were organized on a shelf daily.

How neat the pots and pans were stacked in the cupboards.

How shiny the floors were, and the times we washed laundry each week.

What I really want to say is that they will not remember the long list of things mom had to do each day but that mom did not have much time for me.

The mountain of tasks that need tackling each day are essential tasks that go into the smooth running of a home, but Mother Friend, be intentional with your time. Let your children remember you and the warmth and love that radiates from you—the Center of your children’s life. You, Mother, are the Center of your home. You are the Heart of the home.

I hope these words encourage you, Friend!
Feel free to share with anyone who might need these words of encouragement.

Thinking out loud because life is better shared.

Kimberlee