Dear Tired Mom

Dear Tired Mom,

How are you today?

Have you been ok mentally, emotionally, physically?

When was the last time you were asked how you were doing?

You see, by the end of the week, I am extremely tired so I just want to encourage any mother that might be tired today by telling you, you are not alone.

I feel compelled to let you know you are loved! You are not on this journey alone. God has His eyes upon you.

In life, we are surrounded! There are billions of us living in our earthly home, but life can feel so lonely at times. We walk side by side, and we are alone! Never together. Life has us so wound up that we are moving so fast, unable to see that someone is in need, and our encouragement in their lives might make a difference. I know this because I have been on both sides of this coin! I have been so caught up with life that I could not see anyone but myself, and I have been so low and downcast without being seen or encouraged.

Mom, I know sometimes you feel so alone. You might feel lost and overwhelmed because there is so much to accomplish, so much to do and so little time for yourself. The demands are like facing the ocean. The more you get into things, the more you realize how much there is to get done. The demands of life are pushing and pulling you like a buoy at sea. You are constantly moving. But, before you continue on what you might consider a cycle, let me ask you.

What are the questions you ask yourself?

• Will I ever find myself again?
• Will I do the things I love again?
• Do I make my family happy?
• What if I were not cut out for this?
• What if I fail them?
• Am I a good mother?
• When will I find rest?
• Who will understand what I am feeling?
• What do I enjoy? I do not know myself anymore.

These are just some of the questions that we filter through our minds daily as mothers while still showing up for our families.

Today I need you to understand that you are doing a great job by showing up and being present for your children. God made no mistake in choosing you for them!

Your messy, sometimes out of place clothes, hair, nails, etc., all together for me, is a picture of sacrifice and love on Earth in its purest form. How do I know this? Because most days this is me! (I Know some mothers can manage to juggle all the balls, and I am so proud of you.)

Will I ever find me again?

But have you noticed you have grown into a better version of yourself? You now have the capacity to love without end. You are not only in the position to find yourself, but to find a better version that loves unconditionally and can put the needs of others above yours at times. You are now in the position to have an idea of how God feels about you; as you cater to your little miracles, finding new meaning to life.

I know the world teaches us that we must come first in all things, but as Christians, we are called to be more like Christ. We are called to grow and love ourselves and others the way God is teaching us to love.

Also, your identity is not a place where you were. Your identity should only be sought in who Jesus Christ says you are. Most times, the person we try to seek out is the version of us the world was most accepting of. You see, the world and its principles are forever changing, and you will never be truly happy chasing after what society is telling you you need to be. The moment you believe you have acclaimed to a certain level, the standards are changed on what it means to fit in. Work at fitting in only one place, and that is in Jesus.

Will I do the things I love again?

Yes, you will! You can start today, and the most amazing thing about doing what you love now is that you have your children to help you. Yes! Take them on your journey. You have an opportunity to show them that they should never give up on their dreams. Seeing you going after your goals and beating the odds is an inspiration for them. I live far away from my family, and with twin toddlers, I make the time I need. I am not going at the speed I would like. I cannot do as much as I know I am capable of at the moment, but I am going. I have not given up on myself. I continue to see so much potential in the person I am to this day and I am motivated to keep going.

 The season we are in on our journey in life does not take away from our potential. We might need to go back to the drawing board to reconsider our strategies, but your potential is what God knitted inside of you in your mother’s womb! You were made to succeed!

I enjoy writing to encourage others, and I am doing just that. I can’t meet up with many people. I cannot travel as I used to, but I am now connecting with people from around the world by writing what God is placing on my heart. God will send the right people for you to help, for you to assist and also to encourage and help you on your journey.

Do I make my family happy?

You sure do! If you are not your best self at the moment, you can make a choice to be the best version of yourself starting today! God has a way of making all things work together for our good. The experiences in our past that makes us tired in our lives are not wasted. Yes! We are to learn from them, forgive ourselves and others and most importantly, move on. God allowed us to have the family we are a part of, so I am sure He has also provided the capacity for us to be happy together. When we take our time focusing on all that we would change in our lives and never on what there is to be thankful for, this question will constantly bombard our minds. Today, be intentional in enjoying your family. You do not need to wait for a particular season when you feel like you are in control. Let go today and start loving your family. They will be happy, and you will be too. A little love goes a long way. The more you practice loving your family to foster happiness, the more love and happiness will become the norm in your home. You have everything to do with the culture in your home. What culture are you creating?

What if I am not cut out for this and fail them?

The joy of the Lord is our strength! You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. What you should be telling yourself is, “Who has a manual to being the best mother or wife? No one does! We are all learning from our experiences. I will make mistakes, but I will not be hard on myself. I will learn from my experiences, and God will help me along the way. I will never be perfect, but I will continue showing up for my family. I will continue to read the Living Word and apply its principles to my life, and God will handle the rest.”

Am I a good mother?

This is a question many moms struggle with.

What are the characteristics of a good mother? Are we born as good mothers or do we learn on the journey?

I think the fact that we are humans, we will make mistakes. The seasons we encounter in life are never alike, so I think we are learning as we go along. If we had all the answers to the situations we encounter in life, there would be no need for God! 

However, I think some qualities that make a good Christian mom are:

• The ability to love unconditionally
• Being supportive
• Being able to forgive
• Speaking the truth in love
• Praying for her children.

What qualities do you believe a good mother should have?

A key thing to remember is that in parenting, you can encounter stages when you are not happy with your children’s choices, and they are unhappy with a stance you might be taking. This does not make you a bad mom. You are teaching your child you stand by what you believe in. If what you are standing for is for the greater good, they will tell you thanks later. (If you find your stance or beliefs are flawed, be open and mature enough to apologize.)

As a mom, I have often been faced with situations that made me very reactive because they caught me off guard, and I responded the best way in which I knew to. Was my behaviour necessary or helpful in the situations? No, not at all. But with time, I am learning how to handle situations I encounter in a more mature manner. But it took some time! And I am still learning.

When will I find rest?

As I write, I think people are tired in different ways. Some are drained emotionally, mentally or physically.

No matter what way you are tired in, there is only one place to find rest! I am not talking about physical rest. I am talking about the peace that passes all understanding!

My grandmother would say, “When children are young, they tie your hands, but when they are old they tie your heart!”

Can a mother’s love cease towards her children? I think not. So I believe the rest we seek will come from the wisdom of God. The fear of all the “what ifs” where our children are concerned, can cause us to be cast down or anxious. So today I say, cast your cares upon the Lord and rest. Seek Him only for knowledge and wisdom to walk through this life. When the road gets rough, doing the will of God will make sense when you gain insight into what is happening or what happened.

Who will understand what I am feeling? 

I know being a mother is a great joy, but there are areas on our journey that we question ourselves. There are seasons that drain us. I am not ashamed to admit that as a mom, I have been in situations that I had no clue what to do or how to even begin to understand and navigate the situation I was faced with. 

I have been in situations where my emotions could be described as a rainbow. And you know what, life does not stop for us to sort out what we feel. We must learn in the moment. The good thing is we have a loving God who is willing to carry us through whatever it is we might face. So the person who will understand what you feel, your shortcomings, your failures and your fears is Jesus. You can reach Him anytime. He is just a prayer away! 

I have been in situations that I cannot even begin to understand myself or even express in words. Even then, my grace-giving God comforted and steadied my heart! So today, you remember, before you even understand what you are feeling, He does.

Will I ever find myself? I am so tired.

Take some time Mommy, and rest. You see, we can get so caught up with looking after everyone else, and we forget that we too need to pampered, and we too deserve to rest in the beautiful quiet that life has to offer. Slow down, right down. You might feel anxious because tomorrow is already telling you what it needs to function. But rest for some time. Resting does not need a particular set up. Do what you must to be alone with you. You deserve your attention too. Reflecting on you, where you are, and where you intend to go is essential to seeing you. You were never lost! You are still there.

Listen to you. It is hard to see you at times because of your selfless dedication to the people you love. But you need to find some time for deep reflection on yourself! You are doing the best you can in keeping your head above the waves, but you will only truly be the best version of yourself when you are in touch with God and yourself.

One more thing, Mommy, your story is your story. Your story is beautiful. Please do not compare yourself to anyone. There is a special place on the bookshelf of life for your life story!

Oh yes, there is! Live your life counting your blessings. Nothing or no one will prevent the will of God for your life. It is never too late. Don’t you tell yourself it is too late to follow your dreams to be the author of a beautiful life story laced with grace!

Today I beg of you, Mommy, to never stop dreaming! Never stop believing that you, yes you, can accomplish great things!

Mommy, you will be ok!

Kimberlee