Are You Setting Unrealistic Deadlines For Yourself Based On Who And Where You Were?

Are you setting unrealistic deadlines for yourself based on who and where you were?

Two questions have been on my mind, and I am going to ask them.
Do you set deadlines/timeframes for yourself based on who and where you were and not who and where you currently are on the journey of life?
Are the deadlines/timeframes you set for yourself unrealistic?

I am all for setting goals and reaching them. I love to see women accomplishing and conquering, making positive advancements. Watching women find balance and going on to achieving great things motivates me to do the same. The world has a place for us all because we all have something different to offer, so we can all dare to dream. Yes! We should dream.
I am coming into the understanding, however, that when we need to transition from just a dream to actually pursuing it, we at times set deadlines that are impractical and unachievable, sending us into a negative spiral in which we believe we cannot make it or we or not good enough.
We begin to compare our lives to another woman we do not know and who, most times, do not even know we exist. Yes! That same woman with the six kids that is maybe ten years older than we are, and we become our most prominent critic. But do you ever stop to consider the age of her kids, the support system she has in place, or the daily arrangements made for her kids?
Before the twins, I would set goals and took calculated steps to accomplish them within deadlines I considered realistic and satisfying. I would admire my accomplishment, stay grounded, focused and moved to conquer whatever was next on my list.

After having the twins, I struggled to meet the deadlines I set for myself with the new demands associated with where I was in my life. The goals to me were not excessive. They were pretty attainable and straightforward based on what I was able to accomplish in the past, and so I was frustrated.

I was being hard on myself, never considering the changes that were happening in my life and my new responsibilities as a mother of twins that were born with a strong resentment to nap time, along with a teenage son.
I know some of you understand that there is no cut off time for a full-time mom! There is no packing up and going home to rest. Home is your office! Your children are your portfolio. We are working as life unfolds because there are no manuals to follow. Every Child is different!

I had to learn to slow right down, and when I did, I would feel some guilt! I had to learn through many failed attempts that life was not running away from me, but I was not embracing life in the now, and I was not living.

I came to my senses after learning from my failed attempts that I can still accomplish my goals with calculated steps and deadlines that are flexible and align with my life in the now. I learned that I could accomplish my goals while being present for my family because, after all, they do come first.

I had to understand that I had to use the time I had wisely, and not compare my ability to get things done with any other mom, but look on to learn from them because we are all at different places in our lives.
The lesson I have learned from fighting with myself is that taking baby steps in the right direction is progress. We need to understand where we are and remain focused! Yes, with the many demands of life, focus is key!
When we fight or reject where we are, we are missing out on living. There are just so many positives we can find where we are right now that we will miss out on if we cannot learn to be content and appreciate the road that God is allowing us to walk on. God knows what He is doing. Work towards your goals, but you must never forget to live. Two very important things that remind me to live in the present are my children and how fast they are growing. I feel My babies were born just yesterday! And to my surprise, the girls are already walking and talking. My son is already taller than I am, and I am having trouble with his voice rolling in the house!
As parents, let us learn to cherish the here and now because when we reach where we are rushing to, we cannot reverse the time to spend time with our family.
Work towards your goals, setting realistic deadlines to accomplishing them, so you do not miss out on spending time with your family.
Always ask yourself is my family getting the best of me or the worst of me in the here and now? Are the unrealistic deadlines I have in place causing me to miss out on living? Are the unrealistic deadlines causing me to become frustrated?
I would suggest that as busy moms trying to accomplish goals, involve your family as much as possible in the process. Our children will most likely never remember the material things that we purchase for them, but they will remember the time spent together. The time spent together will matter most in the end.
Today remember you are you, and no one can steal your destiny. Your destiny is in God’s hands! God created you with a specific purpose in mind. Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

You will accomplish great things in God’s timing.
Please slow down when you need to, and never compare yourself to anyone. Spend time working on your emotional, mental and physical health. Spend time with your family. Most importantly, spend time to connect and hear from God about the next step in your life because He has the blueprint for your life. Oh yes, He does! Why walk without clear direction, going nowhere when you can walk with the Holy Spirit’s guidance in the right direction?
Remember being busy does not mean you are going anywhere.
Being tired and overextending yourself does not mean you are accomplishing your goals.
It is being consistent, focused and doing what you are called to do in a realistic time frame and being lead by the Holy Spirit that takes us into our divine destiny where we become a blessing to others.
When we are walking in the will of God, we will walk into blessing after blessing!

Malachi 3:10
“Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the LORD Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it.”
What God allows us to endure in the here and now is preparing us to handle the blessings that are coming!
Set goals for yourself and take actions to accomplish them.
There are no unrealistic goals, just unrealistic deadlines. You can accomplish great things when you understand where you are in life and take realistic, consistent and focused steps to where you want to go.

I hope these words are a blessing to you. If they are, please share with someone that will find this article useful and leave a comment.

Thank you for being here because life is indeed better shared.

Kimberlee