7 Tips to Surviving Daily As A Stay-At-Home Mom

Article Updated: February 24, 2023

A stream of light sneaks in through the room window. A faint sound of a car in motion can be heard. The first signs the day ahead for me is almost ready to begin. I roll over slowly to hug my husband as I know too well he will be leaving soon. I know the alarm clock will go off, and I will get out of bed, walk to tell my son it’s time to start getting himself together for school. The stream of vehicles now passing is more steady. The world is awakening. I place my hand on my husband’s chest, and I begin to talk to my Heavenly Father. I am relieved that He is there waiting for me as He always is. He knows and understands all the emotions I feel, and He comforts me by reassuring me that He will be there for me today every step of the way. I inhale, and I feel alive because my God is true to His words. I will not face the day alone.

For many mothers, new moms, moms of multiples or stay-at-home moms, the beginning of the day can be filled with so much anxiety when you remember you will be alone with the children for the day. Each day begins with a few pressing questions.

1.Will I be able to be the best wife and mother today? 

2.Will I make it through the day and be in a frame of mind to receive my family calmly when they return home? 

3.How can I make a lasting impact in the lives of my children that are home with me? 

4.How can I be my best self when my family members that ventured out in the world return?

5. What can I do to ensure my family understands I love them? 

6. The last question we ask ourselves that lingers, that little thought goes into… is how will I make time for me today?

As a mom of twins that live far away from family, I am busy all the time. My day is like a race that refuses to end after each bend. I stated that to encourage the mom that is feeling drained! What I want to say to you tired and drained mom is, You are going to make it! Being a mom of multiples is the hardest thing I think I will ever have to do in this life and I am making it! I need you to know if I am making it you will too! I am not saying I conquer each day and come out on top with a smile on my face. I am saying that most days, I struggle through to the next by the grace of God. I am saying I end each day as the water from the shower beats on my tired body telling God thanks for helping me every step of the way. I openly tell Him I could not have done it without Him. Then I wake up the following morning all too aware that I will need him to hold my hand again like He did yesterday.

Being a mother comes with no two days being alike. Some days will go by quickly, but some will drag on like a dark and cold winter day. This is why I am sharing these simple steps I employ to get me through the day, and you can try them too.

Always Plan

I find that on a given day, there will always be a million things to do. Clothes need unpacking, bathrooms need cleaning, bills need to be paid on time, forms need to be completed, the dinner needs to be prepared etc. Just remember that it is ok not to get them all done in one day. If you stretch yourself thin trying to, you will not be effective in other areas which will lead to frustration. I would suggest you set realistic goals for yourself. Ask yourself the following questions:

• What do I need to accomplish today that, if I do not get it done, will affect my entire week? You must order things based on their level of importance and urgency.
• What can I leave for a more reasonable time when help is available?
• Is it safe for me to get this done while watching the children?
• Is this something I need to get done now, or am I causing unnecessary stress for myself?
• Will I exert too much energy making me cranky for the entire day when I must tend to the children?
• Most importantly, what does my children’s day look like before and after nap? What activities will I put out for them, and how will I purposefully help them to learn more today about God and the world around them?

I would recommend doing your planning weekly or overnight when you are reflecting on the day. If you cannot, while the children are engaged with an activity quickly jot down what you would like to accomplish for the day.

When you have answered these questions, arrange a to-do list that can be completed when your children are actively engaged in an activity or when they go down for a nap. Another good thing to do is to have a list of the bills you need to tackle with dates so that you are paying them in order of importance and urgency.

Take It Easy 

Some days are meant to just take it easy. Yes, you need to just relax! I know in the back of your mind the list of things to get done keeps getting longer but you must listen to your body and just take it easy at times when your body is telling you to rest.

Some days cosy up and watch your kids while they play or actively get involved with the kids while they play. I have never met anyone that told me the chores in their house did themselves. The mountain of chores will be waiting for you tomorrow or whenever you decide to tackle them.

Sometimes as women, we tend to measure our functionality/ worth based on the way we can control what gets done around the house.

Most of the time, the things we do are for our own sanity, and we miss out on so much with our families because we are always busy or tired.

Remember: It’s ok if things don’t go as planned or get done in a certain timeframe. You are human so don’t be too hard on yourself. Take a break if you need to.

Spend some time connecting with God.

 I find that when I spend time with God, life is much easier for me. I know that at times it is hard to find quiet time for yourself to read, journal or even worship when you are caring for your children.

What I do in the days to invest in my spiritual life is to;

• Use my earphones and listen to a sermon or Christian podcast.
• At times I will listen to praise and worship.
• Meditate on a passage of scripture.
• Journal about what the Holy Spirit lays on my heart.
• Have discussions with Christian friends and family members about the things of God.

I find that when I am connected to God, I am able to accomplish so much in life. When I invest in my relationship with God, I am functional and creative in all areas of my life.

Try to express love to your family. Talk with your husband.

After a long day, at times, I know you just want to take a shower, roll over and go to sleep. At least, that is what it is like for me after caring for two toddler girls that are high-energy. What I find though is that investing in my relationship with my older son and my husband is also essential to developing healthy relationships. When there is no communication, things will get out of balance, and it takes more out of us to fix the build-up of tension than to invest some time on a daily basis to see how everyone is doing.

My son comes home in the days when the girls are taking their nap. After his shower, we spend the little alone time talking about his day and about whatever issues he might be having. I allow him to speak, and he is a talker. I give him my feedback which he pretends he does not need. Some days I am super tired, and he has homework to do. He understands the demands of taking care of his sisters. So I will sleep, and he will do his homework somewhere in my room. I ask him to come so at least we are still together.

When my husband comes home, we talk about the events of the day while we watch the babies play or we play with them together. I go off to shower, and he starts to take care of feeding the girls. When I join them, we all sit and talk at the table. It is busy and it is demanding, but we are eating together. After dinner, we start getting the girls ready for bed, and we spend some time talking to each other, which is one of my favourite times of the day. Communication is essential, and I find that when channels are open to express ourselves and to share what is happening to us individually, life is much smoother.

This is what an ideal day is like for me; however, it can’t always go like this. On days when you just need to have some alone and quiet time, express to the members of your family exactly how you feel. Don’t go off and assume they will understand why you are not talking. Tell them, “Guys I love you, and I am so tired I will be going in early tonight. The day was rough, and I just need to take a break.”They will understand, and you will be given the grace you need. This leaves channels of communication open for the future. When your family has to wonder what’s happening with you, channels of communication become clogged.

Do something you enjoy each day.

It is easier to give of yourself when your needs are also being met. Take some time on a daily basis to enjoy some stillness or do something that you love. In the days when my girls take a nap I spend my time ;

• Reading books that can help me to grow spiritually, emotionally, educationally or just reading for fun.
• I try to work out.
• Listen to a sermon.
• I also enjoy writing for fun or just reflecting on the events that are unfolding in my life.
• Plan for the upcoming day.
• Speak with someone from your inner circle about life or something pressing that you might need a second opinion on. 

There are days I spend just relaxing a little when the girls are sleeping. I find that when I do not take the time to rest when the girls are up after their nap, I am tired and on the edgy side.

Tomorrow is a new day; you can start all over. The mercies of the Lord are new.

Some days will end with you feeling like you did not accomplish anything. The house is a mess, and the children seem they are out of character for the day. There are things that you should have done before, and they just did not get done. When this happens, you will need to give yourself much grace. Remember, you are human, and you will fall short sometimes. You will forget at times, and it is ok. Your children will be more challenging to deal with some days, and it is ok. They are growing and learning and need room to explore and learn. The good thing about this is that tomorrow is a new day to try again. It is a new day to apply what you learned in the past. It is a new day to transition more smoothly because now you know what will and will not work. You now understand the pressure you can withstand and pull back and take a break when it is needed. It is a new day to say, “I did not accomplish some of my goals today, but tomorrow can be a more ordeal day.”

At the end of the day, reflect on the goodness of God and thank Him for carrying you through the day.

I can remember when the girls were much younger, and my husband was leaving home every day. I would become so afraid and anxious because I was not used to being with them by myself. I knew all too well the demands that came with taking care of two babies. They were very light sleepers, and the sound of a car going past our house was enough to wake them. I was so tired and would call my husband crying some days. As time went by, I got more confident and had an idea of what to do to survive. I was exhausted at the end of the day, but the babies were taken care of. During this time, the only time I got for myself was a nap when they would sleep for under two hours. Some days, they were very fussy. In my quest to keep them calm, I would not eat until my husband got home from work. At the end of the day, I was sweaty, I was messy, and my body was sore. I would slowly walk into the bathroom, amazed that I made it through another day. It had to be God. I would break down in the shower telling God thanks for carrying me through the day. What made those hard times bearable is the fact that I believed that God never gives us more than we can bear, and He saw fit to bless my family with twins. I would stand while the water would beat my sore back, and I would cry. Cry because I was grateful for His divine help throughout the day and because I know that nothing is wasted with God. The challenges I was facing were preparing me for greater things in the future. I felt that He entrusted our family with great responsibility.

I can remember looking back on events during the day in which God was very present, and I was extremely grateful. I expressed my gratitude in worship.

These are some steps I take to help me get through the day. What are you doing to get through the days at home? 

I am always open to learning so please leave a comment below because life is indeed better shared!